Congratulations Houston

It's been ten years since Sarah and I shared a little room (two single beds, a cupboard and a little window) in London's campy neighbourhood of Kilburn Park. I don't think there ever were two more different bedfellows, to me, everything about Sarah seemed effortless and slightly outrageous, from her curly hair to her Texan flag and her sharp tales of her mother shooting an armadillo and how virtue came to Texas by way of the English migration, which always had us city slickers in stiches. She got married this past week, check out this adorable picture. Congratulations roomie!

Tiger alert!

One thing that they talked about in MER this weekend was different standards and methods in the context of raising children, the laissez-faire versus the structured. Although most fathers freely admitted the former, especially when there was work to be done around homework or in regard to their reaction to the mother's uncontrolled disciplining or frustration thereof, our stance is somewhat even more extreme.


I always get the feeling, indeed sometimes it is fairly clearly expressed, where I'm told that I just want the best of everything, the schools, the experiences, the structure. I want to cloisture them, whereas he would prefer they just have a childhood. There's no need for them to be in good schools, or for that matter, it seems, in good company, they somehow magically, will turn out alright, he would rather them do what they love. There is a sense of, you just want to them to do what 'you' want or think best.


On one hand, that sentiment, though painful, is helpful to hear and think about. On the other, I'm might be the wrong crowd to consider this idea of doing things for love, for I love many things in life and yet don't have a particularly strong sense of what I want to do. I recognize that one can love things without having a real passion and that appreciation and direction are two very different things, neither of which children are naturally inclined toward.


It would be wrong of me to say that I am not definite on what I want. I want them them to be responsible, to be careful, to be meticulous, even. I want them to be people who prepare, who check, who put in effort because I believe there is a discipline in that that comes as much out of love, as out of nuerotism. I don't necessarily want them to work hard all the time but I wouldn't be amused if they didn't have the opportunities, talent, and inclination to apply themselves.


I want them to be people for whom 'life is short' means you care about things and enjoy stretching their minds and their energy to understand people and culture, not that it's a lark and you should do anything you want, especially where that means nothing at all. I want them to love and demand more of themselves than that, to believe as a choice and not as a default. But that doesn't mean I don't want them to enjoy their childhood. I would be the last person, to take away an aesthetic appreciation of the world, from my own children or to mix ambition with aesthetic.


I had, by all accounts, a very naturalistic and generally innocent childhood. Now, that doesn't mean my parents didn't have me in reading classes and drama lessons, or that they never had fights about how much expense or involvement this necessitated. When I was little, my dad worked odd and sometimes late hours, every morning, he would leave me kraft exercise books of pre-written sums and divisions of advanced math, I would do them and leave them out for him to correct when he got home. Sometimes I would put a question mark where I couldn't read his handwriting. Z. seems often pre-disposed to think my parents overly and unnecessarily mad and intense but for me, it was a game, like receiving presents of a father's attention.


Maybe his point is that you only let them be when you don't push at all, but how can one even believe, or contemplate that I wouldn't try, to allow my children to experience what comes naturally in this world? Where in the world does it say that you can't both have strict expectations and standards, yet be the first likely parent when the time comes, to take your kid out of school for a year to just travel?


I only have to recall the last time that I cooked a fresh, hand-picked countryside asparagus, or that my heart still hurts sometimes when I remember looking out my car window at the California sunset, a skyglass of cobalt blue, burnt orange and grey, to know that I want my children to know that same fullness of just living. I want them to see and love God in the details, to know how big and thick roses grow, how artichokes smell in the spring and to run on a white sand beach, or in a deep and remote historical cavern in China, untramelled and know that life is a gift.

My favourite things

Seriously, I think, my favourite colours. Loving that shade of tan, taupe and white. Gloriously understated.


Still seeking the bride that will allow me to put her bridesmaids in this.


And this bride, really, the epitome of understated but daring. When you have a back like that, you can have a really plain, pretty front. Loving the drop-waist, the elegent swoop of the thin train, the curls with the low scoop neckline. All you need is a good design cut really and of course, to be as skinny as they come. I only wish that she had gone the whole hog and carried a big spray of baby's breath bouquet.


This is what I think of when I think of a wedding dinner. Sure, once in awhile I'm floored by beautiful pink and blue ballrooms with ceilings of frayed strip-cloth and a canopy of fairy lights. But generally, I think of long wooden tables, natural lighting and elements, awesome food and comfortable company. I think of an elegant, well-provisioned dinner party, essentially.


And this bouquet. I just stopped and stared because it is so odd. Love the weird shaped, yet ethereal looking white tissue flowers. Love the odd spray of berries and baby's breath. This wedding is in the boondogs in Sweden and apparently the backdrop is so very swedish, blonde people cavorting in naturalistic fairy-like woods and lakes. And maybe the design of the bouquet is Swedish too, who knows? It's so unusual and odd, but lovely.


And then this picture. The caraven. The couples. The skyline. I want to be in this photo and I don't even know what it's about, that's how good it is.

Polka Dots Print Studio on etsy

Aren't these the cutest things ever! It's always hard to find cute stuff for little boys and these are really neat, wihtout being overly rough.

Neiman Marcus Home

Oh, someone stop me! I discovered Neiman Marcus home through a design-savvy friend and they have the most elegant range of product. I didn't realize I had an inner tai-tai but maybe I do! (If I could live in surroundings like this, perhaps). Sorry about the differential size of the pictures, I clearly didn't save the images correctly.

My 10 favourite invitations

Hopefully they provide some inspiration! I've found the best place to source gorgeous card designs is Minted.com and the least expensive place to have letterpress printed is Mercurio Brothers in California or independant letterpressers online and in Etsy but more information on these in other posts!

(1) Font-driven and usually centered around a single word/s or picture. These are simple, straightforward, heartfelt and usually pretty inexpensive to design and print.




(2) Blind imprints. It has an amazing bold-yet-understated impact. I would put black invites in the same category of rarity and impact but they are for a very specific kind of wedding couple!



(3) Themed. Got to love these ones, they are full of personality and best when matched to the type of occasion and party you should expect ie. don't use a tractor motif unless it's really held in a barn with checkered tablecloths. Most of these tend to have a Western-BBQ slant but there are also some themed by profession or like the last one, an elegant chinois theme.






(4) Botanical. These are undeniably beautiful especially when detailed and textured. They can sometimes come off too inspid with a small design and they tend to be a bit lacking in personality (what does a flower really mean unless your name is Iris?), so I prefer them paired with a strong or unique colour.





(5) Storytelling. This is always awesome to receive because it combines artistry with the evolution of a relationship. This Chinatown card says "For five years, he took the Chinatown bus to New York to see her". Brilliant! Avoid stories that have multiple run-on passages or references, unless that's what the design entails. Focusing on just a particular aspect tends to sound less self-absorbed and more heartfelt.



(6) Calligraphy. The most classic and still my favourite because nobody does it anymore. It's stylish, graceful, cost-efficient (no high design fees and a low one-time calligrapy fee) and I always feel that in ten or indeed a hundred years time, if you see one of these in the family album, everyone still appreciates it because it really never goes out of fashion.

It makes you appreciate the subtleties of the lettering, while making a celebration out of the wording and logistical details, which I always think quite hard to do. The last invites are what I call the almost-calligraphy and it's probably the most common and the least committed of the lot. It also probably belongs more in the faux-vintage preppy segment, as the calligraphy is actually a font.





(7) Preppy. That's kind of what I call this brand of pastel, cute, vintage type geometrics, prints and fonts. Again, because the patterns tend to be fairly standard, I like those with an unusual colour choice or motif. I actually like this modern-take on traditional a lot but I always feel it veers more toward the brides taste, since unless it comes in a masculine colour or motif, I never really get a sense of the men when looking at these.





(8) Location specific. These are becoming more frequent, for people who want to celebrate their city and give perhaps a sense of context to a destination wedding. Again, they can seem a bit stereotyped, so I like them best when paired with another element, like a dark-red vintage Christmas botanical print as in the case below, or a seagrass texture and coral colour for a beach wedding.






(9) Craft. This is a rare one but I'm receiving more of these. There is no real personal link, except maybe the colour but these are cards where the focus is just on the artwork or on a watercolour effect of wedding colours. Works particularly well when you have a close colour palette like peaches and cream or shades of water, not really doable if you have a contrasting colour palette. I particularly appreciate it when the couple have made their own craft invitation, always think that's a nice personal touch.




10)Handwritten. I don't have any favourites in the list but this is one of them. These are simple tablet cards, embossed with the two names on the top and a simple message on the venue, time and place below. These cards don't have print because they are the ones that are hand-written with a personalizd message note in black ink. First class!